No Longer A Victim But A Victor

The Testimony of Mary Muteti

There is no easy way to give my testimony. I wish my words could be clearer, and that I would come across as the woman that Christ wants me to be. I am a Christian, widow and a mother of two teenage boys. I am the woman that Christ has in progress, for that, am sharing my testimony as a way of gratitude to my savior and to encourage women in the same bracket.

I was widowed at the age of 28 after being married to Solomon for 5 years. Nothing prepared me for his death and the challenges that would encompass my life there-after. I had never imagined life without him. Declaring this status widowed‘ was heart-breaking, it is one of life‘s hardest challenges. The fear of the unknown, the lack of a man‘s protection, the emotional trauma and judging eyes all carried great heartache. The unwelcome transition to widowhood was traumatic. My heart withered in fear and the future was terrifying but the emotional shock of saying goodbye to my husband started my journey towards knowing God in a deeper, more trusting way.

My first step to healing started when I understood my state of widowhood as ―not simply a problem to be solved or a circumstance that must somehow be overcome, but a calling for my life that had been arranged by God. The notion that God designed widowhood and that all God‘s designs flow from his love for us is incompatible with the suffering that accompanied my loss. My desire to yield to God‘s will became the foundation for my healing and growth. The biblical promise that God gives to widows, that he will protect, uphold, maintain and execute justice for the vulnerable and defenseless confirmed that God had not abandoned me. Overtime, I have discovered that my husband‘s death opened a door to dependence and devotion to God that marriage had not permitted.

One of the challenging responsibilities that God has given me is bringing up my two boys in a God fearing way. We live in a society that has tarnished biblical teachings and as such I have learned to parent through my knees. Charles was 3 and Chris was 1 year when their father passed on. By God‘s grace they are both in their teenage-hood 19 and 17 respectively and they have given me tremendous support as have been my parents. I believe what the Bible says that they are in this world and not of the world and that he is the father to the fatherless, this I can attest to because He has truly been their father.

Today I see things through a different perspective. I don‘t claim the victim status because I am a victor. I realized that I have more power than I thought; it has been a freeing experience. I have sold clothes from gikomba market and Uganda, I have run a kiosk and sold chicken along side my job to put food on the table. Being the first born in a family of four and a mother, I couldn‘t seat back. I have improved my skills by going back to school. Growing from a Secretarial Certificate to a Diploma in Programming, then a Bachelor‘s Degree in Business Information Technology and lately a Masters in Strategic Management.

Currently, am slowly trying my hand in property and God is giving me unlimited favor.  To me, all things are possible to them that trust in the lord. I encourage you with first hand authority and biblical conviction that beneath the providence of widowhood lies a store house of spiritual blessings to any woman willing to look for such a treasure.

When I look back at the journey I shed tears of joy for what the lord has done in my life. So let me assure you: the pain doesn’t have to last forever, God has good intentions to give you strength, resilience and character to push up from ashes as Pastor Greg Johnson would put it, he wants you to grow and bloom in a unique and wonderful way. It‘s time we stop believing the lie about what other people think matters. NO ONE else can define us, but our Father in heaven. There is no stereotype to threaten us. We can claim the promise that he is in control. And that his plan works all things for our good, even when others intend harm (Gen.50:20) We can choose to believe that even in this circumstance God is working, refining our own depravity into a crown of beauty (Isaiah 63). Today, I continue to look forward for the new things that God is bringing my way, because I am a VICTOR in HIM, and SO CAN YOU.

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